The Customer is Always Right?

BBT: Me. CUST: Customer.

Today was an average day at my bench. There was just enough to keep me busy and enough to really for me to classify it as just an average day. However, it seems that right at 5pm, we got flooded- luckily I was out of there by 6, hehe.

So let’s get down to it. I had [another] problem customer as of this last week. He dropped his laptop off on the 1st. Wednesday, it did not get worked on, and it wasn’t touched until Thursday when another technician called him and left a message.

The next day, he called in and Spoke with me, so I pretty much dropped everything to make sure he was getting taken care of:
CUST: Hello, I need to know the status of my computer, I have not heard anything from you guys since I brought it in.
BBT: Hold on while I check.
(At this point, I put him on hold, put the cordless phone on my belt, and walk to the back where the customer units are being held for pickup. I read over this computer’s credentials, and the scan we did shows some pretty good viruses, and some adware.)
BBT: Sir, you still there?
CUST: *sigh* yes. (Oh god, here we go)
BBT: It looks like you computer is infected with some malicious software that can report user activity and personal information. I have no idea what this computer is used for, but if anyone has used it to purchase anything online like ebay, paypal, or even used a credit card or bank card, that information is possibly in someone else’s hands.
CUST: Well, this is my daughter’s laptop, all she does it get on myspace and check email with it.
BBT: So she’s never checked a bank account, or anything with it? (When a computer comes in and has what this one did, I naturally become genuinely concerned for the customers [or in this case the daughter’s] data and personal information. This isn’t a scare tactic, but merely a way to get the customer to wake up and realize what is going on)
CUST: No she’s a 14 year old girl!(Sorry, was I supposed to read your mind or something?) What’s the cost of getting rid of this?
BBT: The price for me to clean your computer out is $99.99. This includes all malicious software and anything that can compromise your security on this laptop.
CUST: This is outrageous! I thought this was included! You’re telling me I have to pay another $100 on a $499 laptop just to get it cleaned?
BBT: Yes, sir.
CUST: Isn’t this covered under some warranty?
BBT: Unfortunately, both the manufacture and our, and every retail store really, do not cover any kind of software problems.
CUST: Well, this is insane. I bought my other daughter the EXCAT SAME laptop but hers loaded everything faster from day one compared to this one! Will the virus removal make it go fast?
BBT: Because of the possibly of a defect in the hardware, I cannot promise you that the laptop will run faster after the virus removal—however, I will do a manufacture diagnostic on the laptop and make sure there is nothing wrong with it, sound good?
CUST: Well, how long is that going to take?
BBT: It take 24 hours for the diagnostic to fully run, we literally test every piece of hardware in the laptop.
CUST: Fine, do that then.
BBT: Alright, we’ll get started on it as soon as we get a spot open and we’ll give you a call tomorrow or Sunday.
CUST: Ok.

So, I will say now that we ALL completely forgot about this until Sunday but we did start it then. It turned out that all of the hardware checks out fine (Surprised?). The other Tech did not call the customer due to the time of night we got done, so he was on my list of people to call today.

I got back from lunch at about 2:30pm today, and this is when I usually do my calls to customers. I like to get them all done in one go, that way I know I called everyone that was on the list; I just update the ticket as I go.

So I get back and one of the sales girls tells me that this irate customer called in saying that he’s never been called and is pissed because no one has ever called him. (I knew someone had talked to him to begin with because I personally took care of the last issue) So he starts going on this rant about not being called, and I let him know what was going on with his laptop. (I can tell you he wasn’t too pleased to hear nothing hardware was wrong) After talking him out of a virus removal, I told him just to burn recovery disks and restore the computer (after all, it’s his daughters, right?).

So later on, he picks up his laptop checks it out, asks me a few simple questions, and walks happily out the doors.

About 45 minutes later, I hear this customer yelling at the top of his lungs [over the phone, mind you] to another tech of mine. The other tech hands the phone to me so I start the conversation:
BBT: Thank you for holding, this is BBT.
CUST: I’VE GOT A PROBLEM (I was thinking: With your volume?)
BBT: Ok, what can I do with you?
CUST: This is CUST and I can’t find where to make these recovery disks.
BBT: Ok, it’ll be under the start menu and under HP, or PC Help & Tools, there should be something called “Create Restore Disks” or something similar.
CUST: Hold on, I want to make sure I can find it before I let you go…
BBT: Ok (At this time I’m thumbing through some information on another customers unit)
CUST: I can’t find it… Are you sure it’s there? (Are you questioning the person who works on nothing but these computers almost every day?)
BBT: Yeah it’s on every HP/Compaq computer.
CUST: (With a snotty tone)Well, I don’t see it.
BBT: (At this point I started getting aggravated. I know its there, unless you made them already. I felt like asking him if he was too stupid to read, or just blind) Well, there is another option, but it requires you to call HP and order the disks, or alternatively, I do the restore for your, but that will cost $130.
CUST: this is stupid! Listen, BBT, I know you’re trying to help, but this is stupid! I don’t care the cost anymore, what is the best way.
BBT: Well, if you just want to order the restore disks that are usually around $30 with shipping included from HP, they come with documentation on how to restore the computer. And because we can’t seem to find the recovery disk creation wizard, this may be the best route to go all the way around, mainly just to have these disks in a time of need later.
CUST: You know what? This is ridiculous. My computer, first of all, wasn’t touched until 2 days after I left if with you guys, then it took another 2 days for me to call you and find the status!
BBT: Sir, actually, you were on my call list, which I happen to do after my lunch break, every day. If you would have waited less than 15 minu…
CUST: I don’t care; I still had to call in 4 times for anything to be done with my PC.
BBT: Actually sir, it shows a Technician called you the 3rd, and you spoke with me 2 days ago. Hold on a moment… (At this point I walked from my bench that was on the floor to the back where I could tell the customer how it is without the odd looks from other customers.
CUST: Well, this is bullshit, I know you’re trying to help me BBT, but this operation you have going at your stores is a joke. (Whhhhooooaaaa buddy, you just crossed the line. I got a little offended at this point.)
BBT: CUST, you’ve got two options if you want this PC to be clean. You can order the recovery disks from HP, and do it yourself, for $60 less, OR you can bring it in, have us remove the viruses, which I can’t guarantee will speed up the computer.
CUST: I know this, but the fact that I got it back in the same condition I left it there 5 days ago without an ounce of work being done on it shows the lack of customer friendliness your bench has back there. (Excuse me 40 year old UPS package sorter?)
BBT: Sir, as I said, you can do one of those two things. I apologize for the 5 days of downtime of your daughter’s laptop, but scans and diagnostics take some time. I mean, it’s up to you if you want to do either one of those things. HP generally ships overnight on all of their packages, just to let you know.
CUST: But it’s the fact nothing has happened in the 5 days it was there.
BBT: Sir, we ran the scan, we showed you the report that it was infected. We later then tested every piece of hardware to make sure it checked out. That’s over 30 hours of time on your laptop alone. I can’t see how you can even ask a question as silly as that. In fact you’ve not paid for a service yet, and you expect to be put at the top of the line with customers who have paid literally thousands?
CUST: There is no need for that attitude. (You… are kidding… right?)
BBT: CUST, I do believe you have been giving me an attitude since Saturday when I talked to you the first time. If you’d rather, I can let you talk to someone who doesn’t know this situation as well as I do I’d be glad to give it over to the other technician.
CUST: No. that’s not necessary. But the fact I never got a call back from you guys during the five days it was there.
BBT: Sir, TECH1 called you on the 3rd. I talked to you on the fourth. I was going to call you today.
CUST: But you never called me!
BBT: I was going to call you; you were literally next in line to be called.
CUST: I think you’re just saying that!
BBT: You may think what you want. But those are your two options as far as getting your daughters laptop back up and running. The choice is yours, really. If you want to continue this argument, you can call our customer hotline and speak with Corporate.
CUST: WHAT IS THE NUMBER FOR HP?
BBT: 1-800-HP-INVENT. I-N-V-E…
CUST: WHAT?!
BBT: 1-800-HP-INVENT I-N-V
CUST: WHAT?! (GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, YOU IDIOT: ENGLISH, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!) INVENT, LIKE I-N-V-E-N-T?
BBT: *sigh* yes.
(I hang up)

Moral of the story:
1) Don’t expect a $100 service for nothing.
2) When you talk to the person working on your computer, don’t be an asshole.
3) The customer is hardly ever right.
4) When I tell you something, it’s as a technician, not as a salesman. I thought this was obvious by me suggesting restoring the computer instead of doing a virus removal.
5) If you get snotty with me, fuck off. You’re not more important than the next person.
6) If you work for UPS, I’m sorry you have to deal with fucks like these.